Scooby-Doo on the Next Star Trek Show?

Who Can't Love
this Guy?
Ever since Disney Corporation took over Star Wars and Star Trek, we've stood at the precipice of a mega-corp take over on a planetary scale. To be honest, it's a harsh reality, but something most geeks are happy to endure as reboots tickle their fancy enough despite many of them being far worse than their not-so-distant awful cousin, the 80s sequel. Lucas referred to mega-corp Disney as "the white slave traders" but it didn't stop him from selling out to them either. We might as well associate the good times with Mickey Mouse - and by the way, Mickey eat your heart out! Literally, please. Not only will you never go public domain, we can look forward to seeing you on the starship Enterprise too. You'll be commanding, under Minny of course, because the mega-corp will try to be politically correct to keep sales going. But don't fret. In that age, even Hanna-Barbera will sell out too. Which is why Scooby's appearance will seem both entertaining and appropriate. Ugh.

Okay, fine. A little out there, but it could get worse. Disney, being so big, will be able to buy out anyone. That includes Hanna-Barbera, if they haven't already and such a deal with signal the death to artistic boundaries in lieu of fantastic profits worldwide. In the New World Order, when boredom settles in, just mix and mash it all together to keep the masses busy and away from their newsfeed. How hard could it be, it's all the same formula anyway.

The Abomination of Desolation of Entertainment

We're talking big bucks and major distribution, now, to anywhere in the world with an internet connection; just picture starving children with no food but all the entertainment they could die for. Maybe literally. Ugh. But back to our debacle, or "abomination of desolation" of sorts, the unholy crossover between Hanna Barbera meeting Walt Disney, in a cameo for one of its dearest characters, Scooby-Doo to appear on Star Trek. Like most cameos on Star Trek, the character would be revealed at the end of Part 1, with only the barest hint of who it is, perhaps a voice over of a scruffy sounding canine now Praetor of Elixia 5, a planet that needs precious medicine because they shunned the Empire, err, Federation and now in need of protection from a mysterious force ruining their planet. Who will be commanding the Enterprise XII bridge? How about Goofy or Donald Duck, or why not MacGyver? It's the future. Who knows. Who cares. They'll Photoshop it to make it look good.

Anything can happen, anything can work. Of course, anyone hearing that Scooby-Doo would be on Star Trek would sneer at it, millenials included, but fifty years from now, remembering the lesson learned from Ben Affleck who turned out to be a good Batman might cause them pause. Then, finally, at the end, we will watch intently as the Praetor, with communications down, and therefore non-visible until the very end, stands with hind legs and looking older, wiser but nonetheless Scooby-Doo, in which, again we pause, feeling obviously silly if you're a millenial and down, but nonetheless forced to look inwards once again, and not judge others harshly, keep an open mind and let anything go in this New World Order. "Scooby-Dooby-Dooooo!" Oh gods. Did they actually do that? And am I being open-minded about that too? I then realize this world is really just so bored that nothing can be sacred anymore.

Towards a 21st-Century Scooby

Then we will meet him. Finally, the time has come. Scooby will look like Scooby and sound like him too. He will talk about Shaggy dying to save the rest of the team from some deadly monster that didn't spring Fred's trap like it was supposed to. Thelma now has a bionic body but, without the CGI boobs, to the make the point clear about brains and not boobs. Sigh. They're right, of course. Why did it take so long? The corporation, large, megalithic trillion dollar worldwide parent business with hundreds of thousands of affiliates in Africa, South America and the Middle East, attempt to be cool again by being politically correct again and failing, failing and failing - again. But still making huge profits.

But it works. It looks good. The story sucks. That's okay. We're entertained. It's the way things go in the entertainment world. One wonders what happens when the big studios greedily hold onto copyrights and have no place to go but some incestuous direction that leads to official mash-ups, reboots and plastic prequels. 

That's Scooby-Doo on the next Star Trek. Each your heart out! It works just fine. Now replace the lovable pet with anything else you want. Anything. Any cross-over whatsoever. All the worlds meld into one. The New World Order. The globalization of entertainment, where nothing is sacred, no limits are respected. Where we can't and won't judge. Photoshop it! Tweet it! In the future, it could all be click bait by then. One possible answer: Make it public domain and save it all. Give it back to the people.

No comments:

Post a Comment